Tag Archives: army wife

My today is his yesterday.

“My today is his yesterday”. 

That’s what my friend said to me about her husband who is serving a tour of duty in Korea. 

What a beautiful revelation of time. 

Time. 

It’s what both plagues and blesses the military spouse. 

It surrounds every aspect of our military lives.

How long will he be gone? 

What time is PT? 

How long will we be stationed here? 

When are you coming home? 

When is the next four day? three day? 

Training holiday? 

What time is it there, where he is? 

What day is it there, where he is? 

What major mile markers will he miss during his time away? 

Holidays? 

And when you know he’s leaving, you count the months, the days, the hours, the seconds and you absorb them as much as you can. 

And it’s the same when he returns: You countdown time. 

How many more years until he can retire or get out? 

Time. 

It’s something no one can escape. 

It’s something no one should take for granted. 

And I am so thankful and humbled to know that I serve a God that knew me and my husband before the foundation of time. 

My God, who remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

I serve a timeless God. 

And I pray that you do too. 

 

 

 

 

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Military Ceremony & FLAG ETIQUETTE

In my years as an Army wife, I have attended more military ceremonies than I can recall.

There’s a beauty to them, that I love.

Recently, I attended a ball for my husband’s unit.

I love standing beside him as he stands at attention, as he salutes, as he works his way through the ceremonial rituals.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please stand as our Nation’s color’s are presented”.

I stand and wait for the cue of my husband because I know that he knows which way the flag will be brought in.

He turns to face the back of the room, standing at attention.

I turn, AND PLACE MY HAND OVER MY HEART.

We watch the flag enter with the color guard as the drums are rolling.

It’s beautiful, as it gently flutters in the breeze from being carried.

As it passes, we turn with it until it makes it’s way on stage and I stand there with MY HAND STILL OVER MY HEART.

And I keep it there until the presenting of the colors ceremony is finished.

I look around and I only see a handful of wives doing the same as me.

I gasped as I saw some of them talking!

HOW DARE YOU TALK DURING THAT!!!

YOUR HUSBAND LAYS HIS LIFE ON THE LINE FOR THAT FLAG!

AND IT’LL BE THE LAST THING YOU’RE HANDED IF HIS LIFE IS TAKEN DEFENDING IT.

So, please…please, please, please show some respect for your Nation’s Flag.

If it passes you in a parade: PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR HEART AND FOLLOW IT BY TURNING YOUR BODY AS IT PASSES AND DO NOT TALK.

If it is being presented or retired by the color guard: DO THE SAME THING LISTED ABOVE.

If you are unsure: AGAIN, DO THE SAME THING LISTED ABOVE.

And for further information concerning our NATION’S FLAG: click here.

Thank you for your time.

 

His Hands

Image

His hands…they’re my favorite. 

They’re big and strong. 

Callused from hard work. 

Gentle. 

Firm. 

Quick. 

Slow. 

I pray for those hands…

to be a blessing. 

to protect. 

to be protected. 

to be used for the kingdom. 

to lead our family and to lead his men.

to dial my number, so I can hear his voice. 

to type an email, so I can read his thoughts. 

to write me a letter, because he knows I love those unexpected things.

I pray for those hands as he picks up his bag to leave. 

And I pray for those hands as they embrace me upon return. 

“Praise the Lord, who is my rock. He trains my hands for war and gives my fingers skill for battle. He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety, my rescuer. He is my shield, and I take refuge in him. He makes the nations submit to me”. -Psalms 144:1-2

 

 

Civilian Friends, Listen Up!

Something you should understand, as a “civilian”, about your military spouse friends:

Time is our most precious asset with our spouse, so if it can be spent with them, instead of you, please understand and do not get offended. REMEMBER our husbands do NOT work a regular 9-5, so we don’t get to see them everyday. One day we can give you all of our attention and the next, we can’t. It’s not you. It’s nothing personal. It’s our life. Be excited for us when our husband returns. Don’t get your panties in a wad because we can’t meet for lunch or hang out on the weekends as much. Again, it’s nothing personal. It’s a priority thing. And we are not using you as a distraction while our husbands are gone, either, so get that out of your head. We want to be friends with you, but we want you to understand our lifestyle and respect it. And if we make it through all of this and we find ourself geographically separated from you, don’t forget us.

 

 

 

The Morning After

Naturally, we congregated and there we sat, the morning after, still in a daze.

Confused.

Shocked.

Remembering.

Grief etched on our faces and heard in every word spoken.

God?

It’s hard to see You through this pain, this grief, this wailing wall,

this interim.

This interim of time between grief and heaven.

Because we all feel it, right? At some point or another, we are in that time. That time of in-between.

Remember in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John the day after Jesus dies on the cross?

In Matthew, it just says that the priests (the same priests that yelled “CRUCIFY”) went to Pilot to have the tomb where He lay, sealed and guarded.

That’s the only account of the in-between Jesus dying for you and the resurrected Jesus to give you life more abundantly.

What did the disciples do?

Well, we know they congregated, because on the third day, resurrected Jesus was among them.

I bet they were the same as us: dazed, confused, shocked, grief-stricken, wailing, hopeless.

Remembering.

Questioning.

Still following, but maybe struggling with the follow.

Waiting.

Waiting for the in-between to be over.

One of my most favorite verses in the Bible: “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint” Isaiah 40:31.

Some versions use the word “trust” instead of “wait”.

They that trust.

They that trust in the in-between, shall renew their strength.

So, whatever you’re in-between…

Sickness.

Deployment.

Terrible twos.

Marriage woes.

Divorce.

Finances.

Grief.

Trust Him.

Wait for Him.

Hope in Him.

Sometimes it’ll be hard.

But, keep on keepin’ on.

Because you know what?

On the third day…

He rose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Return

It’s early, might as well get up.

You didn’t sleep anyway.

Maybe, somehow, you’ll be able to hide the bags under your eyes with makeup.

The coffee is percolating, you’re alone, and you glance around your home.

You spent all day yesterday and the day before making sure the house is spotless.

No random piles of clutter are to be seen and there’s not a dust bunny in sight.

A slow smile forms on your lips and there are butterflies in your belly.

It’s gonna be a good day!

Food has no taste, but you eat a little anyway to sustain you.

You get through your morning routine as time takes an eternity to pass.

You spend extra time getting everything just right with how you look.

Make-up is perfect.

Hair is perfect.

Not a hair on your legs.

Outfit is hot!

You check yourself one more time in the mirror…

and there’s that smile again.

The one you haven’t seen yourself make in a very long time.

And off you go for the longest ride ever.

Miniature flag in hand.

Welcome home poster in the other.

A smile so big, happiness is undeniable.

Excited chatter is everywhere, but you hear nothing.

You’re scanning the crowd waiting on a glimpse…

a glimpse of the one you haven’t seen in too long…

a glimpse of the one you gave your heart to and promised forever…

a glimpse.

Eyes. Meet.

You run.

Powerful embrace.

Tears stream.

The return kiss.

Two smiles, instead of one.

And you think…

“Finally, he’s home”…

No more restless nights.

Worry diminishes because he’s flesh and blood in your arms.

No more single parenting.

No more alone.

And no more waiting…

The exhilaration that you both feel is almost too much to bear.

He’s home.

Praise the Lord.

He’s home.

The Commissary and Coffee

They call them “rumors”, but I personally feel they should be called “threats”.

Threats to take our retirement away, threats in pay cuts, threats to close commissaries, threats all around.

And now, I guess it’s just a matter of time based on what I read here…because I see NO WAY the commissary can stay open with a $1 billion dollar hit!

I drive exactly 30 minutes to grocery shop at our commissary.

I go for the savings.

I got tired of the drive a while back and decided to shop at Publix, which happens to be a few miles from my home, just to see how big the difference would be and to make sure the gas I was using to drive the 30 minutes was worth it.

I have never been so embarrassed in my life!

Why?

Because I walked away from the cash register and told the cashier to put everything back.

My budget allows me to spend NO MORE than $250 at one time on groceries per paycheck. That is completely feasible for us and solely based on shopping at the commissary (come to find out). My Publix trip was at $335 with the conveyor belt full of what was left when I walked away. That was FOUR years ago.

Publix, yes I know, is a more expensive grocery store, but the convenience was enticing.

I’ve tried Wal-Mart as well. Didn’t work out there either.

My absolute favorite purchase at our commissary is Chock full o’ Nuts coffee. Why? Because it’s the best damn coffee that has EVER tickled my taste buds! It is smooth, creamy, and I would pick it over a $5 cup of coffee any day of the week! It’s A-MAZ-ING!!! Why everyone doesn’t drink it, is beyond me! Because I promise—if you are a coffee drinker and you try it just one time, you will NEVER look back!

Moving on…

At Publix, it’s $10.99 per 11.9 oz can and sometimes $11.99 and Publix is the only place around here that sells our brand.

At the commissary, it’s $6.99 (for the same sized can) and SOMETIMES, they will put it on sale for $5.99!!!

SAY WHAT?!?

AND rarely, and I mean VERY rarely, I will find a coupon for it and OMG at the savings!!!

Yeah, I know, it’s just coffee.

But WE LOVE coffee and not just any coffee…we LOVE CHOCK FULL O’ NUTS!!!

That’s our thing.

When my husband is home, our most treasured times are spent sipping coffee together before the sun comes up and the kids get out of bed. I could never formulate words for how important that time is to us…and it’s all centered around our cups of coffee.

But, when the commissary closes, we will still spend our mornings together drinking coffee, but it won’t be the same. Why? Because we won’t be able to afford the brand we love. I bare minimum buy as it is and I meal plan to a fault. If the commissary closes, our lifestyle will drastically change. There will be no way I will be able to maintain our $250 budget not shopping there. So, we will have to readjust and see what we will need to give up. House? no. Car? no. Phones? no. It’ll be little things like cable and coffee.

And you know what pisses me off the most about it?

This article right here.

Congress spends about $2 million on coffee and pastries—and that was written LAST YEAR!

If the commissary closes, it will give me so much comfort to know that my tax dollars are being spent on THEIR coffee, while I will no longer be able to afford mine—said NO ONE EVER!!!

This is ridiculous.

OUR MILITARY MAKES UP LESS THAN 1% OF OUR POPULATION!!!

LESS THAN 1%, CONGRESS!!!

And you cut the commissary budget?

And our COLA?

And possibly our retirement?

And we get a pay cut?

How about you pay for your own damn coffee and pastries!?!