Tag Archives: deployment

My today is his yesterday.

“My today is his yesterday”. 

That’s what my friend said to me about her husband who is serving a tour of duty in Korea. 

What a beautiful revelation of time. 

Time. 

It’s what both plagues and blesses the military spouse. 

It surrounds every aspect of our military lives.

How long will he be gone? 

What time is PT? 

How long will we be stationed here? 

When are you coming home? 

When is the next four day? three day? 

Training holiday? 

What time is it there, where he is? 

What day is it there, where he is? 

What major mile markers will he miss during his time away? 

Holidays? 

And when you know he’s leaving, you count the months, the days, the hours, the seconds and you absorb them as much as you can. 

And it’s the same when he returns: You countdown time. 

How many more years until he can retire or get out? 

Time. 

It’s something no one can escape. 

It’s something no one should take for granted. 

And I am so thankful and humbled to know that I serve a God that knew me and my husband before the foundation of time. 

My God, who remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

I serve a timeless God. 

And I pray that you do too. 

 

 

 

 

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The Return

It’s early, might as well get up.

You didn’t sleep anyway.

Maybe, somehow, you’ll be able to hide the bags under your eyes with makeup.

The coffee is percolating, you’re alone, and you glance around your home.

You spent all day yesterday and the day before making sure the house is spotless.

No random piles of clutter are to be seen and there’s not a dust bunny in sight.

A slow smile forms on your lips and there are butterflies in your belly.

It’s gonna be a good day!

Food has no taste, but you eat a little anyway to sustain you.

You get through your morning routine as time takes an eternity to pass.

You spend extra time getting everything just right with how you look.

Make-up is perfect.

Hair is perfect.

Not a hair on your legs.

Outfit is hot!

You check yourself one more time in the mirror…

and there’s that smile again.

The one you haven’t seen yourself make in a very long time.

And off you go for the longest ride ever.

Miniature flag in hand.

Welcome home poster in the other.

A smile so big, happiness is undeniable.

Excited chatter is everywhere, but you hear nothing.

You’re scanning the crowd waiting on a glimpse…

a glimpse of the one you haven’t seen in too long…

a glimpse of the one you gave your heart to and promised forever…

a glimpse.

Eyes. Meet.

You run.

Powerful embrace.

Tears stream.

The return kiss.

Two smiles, instead of one.

And you think…

“Finally, he’s home”…

No more restless nights.

Worry diminishes because he’s flesh and blood in your arms.

No more single parenting.

No more alone.

And no more waiting…

The exhilaration that you both feel is almost too much to bear.

He’s home.

Praise the Lord.

He’s home.

I’m sick

I got sick in June. 

I went to the doctor and waited for over a month for a referral to a specialist. 

Now, three months later, I still do not know what ails me and I am just now getting an ultrasound on Friday. 

That’s the whole Summer being sick. 

Last Summer, my husband was struck again with a mystery illness (for the second time, same symptoms). He was sick for over a month, with no resolve or diagnosis. He lost 25 pounds the first two weeks, could hold nothing down, severe stomach cramps. One week after he stopped vomiting, he deployed. 

That’s the whole Summer being sick. 

Did I mention that Summertime is my favorite time of year? 

We make great plans, travel, spend much needed time together as a family. 

Yet, the last two Summers, we have been robbed. 

I hate the enemy. 

And now in the middle of my sickness, the enemy strikes again. 

Unexpected deployment. 

And here we go. 

I am worn out waiting for your rescue, but I have put my hope in your word“. 

-Psalms 119:81

My heart is broken. 

For he heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds“.

-Psalms 147:3

I find myself questioning.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord!

-Jeremiah 29:11

I am stricken with grief. 

Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant. Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live, for your instructions are my delight“.

-Psalms 119:76-77

I’m scared.

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows

Luke 12:7

I’m lost. 

He finds me. 

I stand on His word. 

Though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning“.

-Psalms 30:5

O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored my health“. 

-Psalms 30:2

Praise the Lord, for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love“.

-Psalms 31:21

So, I will be strong and courageous, because my hope is in the Lord! -Psalms 31:24

And I will give thanks for all he has done for us! 

Amen. 

Well, obviously…Momma

My momma was a young mom.

My momma’s everyday mood, for the most part, was “stressed out”.

My dad chose to NOT financially support his family, so it fell on her. So, why wouldn’t she be stressed out?

My childhood wasn’t fantastic, but it wasn’t horrible either. I have some great memories.

It made me who I am today…and I ain’t that bad.

My momma taught me two very important things that I will pass on to my children.

Two things that I will forever be thankful for…

1. When you don’t know what to say or pray: Call on the name of Jesus—even if that’s all you can say. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I’ve made it through many dark nights, many sicknesses, many deployments, calling on His name.

2. Pray over your children. I can remember waking up many nights, feeling my momma laying her hands on me and hearing her pray over me. There’s power in a mother’s prayer!

I’m very thankful for a praying momma. There have been many times I have called her and she has stopped in the middle of work, in the middle of a crowd, and prayed for me. If she did nothing else right throughout my childhood, this would have been enough.

And she still diligently intercedes for her children.

She’s a good mom.

If you have some issues with your mom from the past: let them go! Remember that not only is life too short, but that moms are just doing the best they can! They are learning as they go. They all make mistakes. You will to.

The day he leaves…

My Life as an Army Wife

Picture this:

A family of four is driving down the road. The mom and dad in the front seat are holding hands. The mom lays her head over on her husband’s shoulder. The boy is in the back seat playing a video game and the girl is holding a Barbie in each hand, pretending.

They know where they are going, but no one talks about it. There is nervous banter between the parents, as neither of them want to upset the kids that are now old enough to understand the situation. And neither of them want to let go of one another, so their knuckles are white from gripping hands. This particular drive usually takes forever to end, but today, the drive is not long enough.

They arrive.

They do not move. Not yet.

The parents, they hold onto each other, embraced.

Tears are in their eyes.

Mom’s mantra: “Don’t…

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The Day After He Leaves…

The last time my husband left, I found myself crying in a nice ladies office at the car dealership.

Why?

They had not put an air filter back onto my car correctly after an oil change, causing it to overheat five minutes after I had left. And I felt like this happened strictly because I had nothing else better to deal with! (That was in sarcastic font:)

I walked back into the dealership, told them in my nice voice that they had screwed my car up, walked upstairs to a nice ladies office, and proceeded to have a minor breakdown.

Yep, tears and all.

Full blown, snot pouring, cry voice, ugly face…

Crying.

This tends to happen to me at least once, every deployment.

The time before that: my girl accidentally spilled water on the keyboard of my new computer. No damage was done, still I cried.

The time before that: my roof sprung a leak. Again, simple fix, but still I cried.

The time before that: the septic backed up.

The very first deployment: I fell the night he left and broke my leg!

There’s more, but you get it.

The point: the enemy LOVES to strike us while we’re down.

Everything falling apart the day after our husband’s leave, is not an accident.

Our husband’s leave.

Things happen, that he would typically handle.

How do you handle it emotionally?

Physically, we handle many things alone.

Why?

Because what choice do we have?

Emotionally, though?

The correct answer: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…”

Do we honestly believe that though?

Do we walk in that faith?

I just admitted, that sometimes I don’t.

I’m weak.

I’m emotionally susceptible–especially when he leaves!

And to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to handle any of it alone!

I’m a married woman!

I’m half of a whole!

I’m mom, he’s dad!

WHY ME?

This is NOT the picture of marriage that I have had instilled into me, my whole life.

Is this fake picture of marriage what makes ours so hard?

Because we can’t meet that expectation?

That’s another lie of the enemy.

Remember that.

And grasp this:

This is your path. This is your lot in life. He knew this is where you would be before the foundation of time.

Right here, right now.

In the middle of a deployment…

In the middle of a TDY…

In the middle of a valley…

In the middle of financial struggle…

In the middle of stress and anxiety…

In the middle of a peak…

He knows.

He’s in control.

Seriously.

He has a plan for you.

He knows you.

He knit you in your mother’s womb.

He knew you would be a military wife.

It is NOT more than you can handle.

He’s in control.

Military wife reality: we are apart at times, but we are never alone.

Remember that too.

Even when you are alone, you’re not. He’s there with you.

Seek Him and I promise (actually He promises) that you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13).

The day he leaves…

Picture this:

A family of four is driving down the road. The mom and dad in the front seat are holding hands. The mom lays her head over on her husband’s shoulder. The boy is in the back seat playing a video game and the girl is holding a Barbie in each hand, pretending.

They know where they are going, but no one talks about it. There is nervous banter between the parents, as neither of them want to upset the kids that are now old enough to understand the situation. And neither of them want to let go of one another, so their knuckles are white from gripping hands. This particular drive usually takes forever to end, but today, the drive is not long enough.

They arrive.

They do not move. Not yet.

The parents, they hold onto each other, embraced.

Tears are in their eyes.

Mom’s mantra: “Don’t think it. Don’t think it. Don’t think it. Trust in Him”.

This is the hard part.

Dad has to go.

Mom wonders “will this be the last time we see him?—Don’t think it! Trust in Him”.

Dad tears himself away from mom, embraces kids.

Boy, that is almost a man, tries to choke back tears, but still they come.

Dad to boy: “Take care of your mom and sister”.

Girl, she cries, not wanting to let go.

Dad to girl: “Be a sweet girl”.

Mom’s throat is hurting from holding back as many tears as possible.

Dad to Mom: “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Mom to Dad: “Be safe. I’ll be praying for you. I love you”.

Dad, “Let us pray”.

Mom thinks, “no praying, that means the end of our time together is here”.

Amen.

More hugs.

More kisses.

More goodbyes.

Dad throws bag over his shoulder.

This time, he has to walk away.

Mom: Don’t think it! Trust in Him!

Kids: wailing.

Dad turns around one last time.

He smiles, as best he can.

He waves.

Mom takes mental picture.

Family watches until Dad can’t be seen anymore.

He’s gone.

Mom: “Let’s go home babies”.

Babies cry.

Mom prays.

Boy prays.

Girl prays.

Trust in Him.