Tag Archives: marine wife

My today is his yesterday.

“My today is his yesterday”. 

That’s what my friend said to me about her husband who is serving a tour of duty in Korea. 

What a beautiful revelation of time. 

Time. 

It’s what both plagues and blesses the military spouse. 

It surrounds every aspect of our military lives.

How long will he be gone? 

What time is PT? 

How long will we be stationed here? 

When are you coming home? 

When is the next four day? three day? 

Training holiday? 

What time is it there, where he is? 

What day is it there, where he is? 

What major mile markers will he miss during his time away? 

Holidays? 

And when you know he’s leaving, you count the months, the days, the hours, the seconds and you absorb them as much as you can. 

And it’s the same when he returns: You countdown time. 

How many more years until he can retire or get out? 

Time. 

It’s something no one can escape. 

It’s something no one should take for granted. 

And I am so thankful and humbled to know that I serve a God that knew me and my husband before the foundation of time. 

My God, who remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

I serve a timeless God. 

And I pray that you do too. 

 

 

 

 

Military Ceremony & FLAG ETIQUETTE

In my years as an Army wife, I have attended more military ceremonies than I can recall.

There’s a beauty to them, that I love.

Recently, I attended a ball for my husband’s unit.

I love standing beside him as he stands at attention, as he salutes, as he works his way through the ceremonial rituals.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please stand as our Nation’s color’s are presented”.

I stand and wait for the cue of my husband because I know that he knows which way the flag will be brought in.

He turns to face the back of the room, standing at attention.

I turn, AND PLACE MY HAND OVER MY HEART.

We watch the flag enter with the color guard as the drums are rolling.

It’s beautiful, as it gently flutters in the breeze from being carried.

As it passes, we turn with it until it makes it’s way on stage and I stand there with MY HAND STILL OVER MY HEART.

And I keep it there until the presenting of the colors ceremony is finished.

I look around and I only see a handful of wives doing the same as me.

I gasped as I saw some of them talking!

HOW DARE YOU TALK DURING THAT!!!

YOUR HUSBAND LAYS HIS LIFE ON THE LINE FOR THAT FLAG!

AND IT’LL BE THE LAST THING YOU’RE HANDED IF HIS LIFE IS TAKEN DEFENDING IT.

So, please…please, please, please show some respect for your Nation’s Flag.

If it passes you in a parade: PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR HEART AND FOLLOW IT BY TURNING YOUR BODY AS IT PASSES AND DO NOT TALK.

If it is being presented or retired by the color guard: DO THE SAME THING LISTED ABOVE.

If you are unsure: AGAIN, DO THE SAME THING LISTED ABOVE.

And for further information concerning our NATION’S FLAG: click here.

Thank you for your time.

 

His Hands

Image

His hands…they’re my favorite. 

They’re big and strong. 

Callused from hard work. 

Gentle. 

Firm. 

Quick. 

Slow. 

I pray for those hands…

to be a blessing. 

to protect. 

to be protected. 

to be used for the kingdom. 

to lead our family and to lead his men.

to dial my number, so I can hear his voice. 

to type an email, so I can read his thoughts. 

to write me a letter, because he knows I love those unexpected things.

I pray for those hands as he picks up his bag to leave. 

And I pray for those hands as they embrace me upon return. 

“Praise the Lord, who is my rock. He trains my hands for war and gives my fingers skill for battle. He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety, my rescuer. He is my shield, and I take refuge in him. He makes the nations submit to me”. -Psalms 144:1-2

 

 

Civilian Friends, Listen Up!

Something you should understand, as a “civilian”, about your military spouse friends:

Time is our most precious asset with our spouse, so if it can be spent with them, instead of you, please understand and do not get offended. REMEMBER our husbands do NOT work a regular 9-5, so we don’t get to see them everyday. One day we can give you all of our attention and the next, we can’t. It’s not you. It’s nothing personal. It’s our life. Be excited for us when our husband returns. Don’t get your panties in a wad because we can’t meet for lunch or hang out on the weekends as much. Again, it’s nothing personal. It’s a priority thing. And we are not using you as a distraction while our husbands are gone, either, so get that out of your head. We want to be friends with you, but we want you to understand our lifestyle and respect it. And if we make it through all of this and we find ourself geographically separated from you, don’t forget us.

 

 

 

The Morning After

Naturally, we congregated and there we sat, the morning after, still in a daze.

Confused.

Shocked.

Remembering.

Grief etched on our faces and heard in every word spoken.

God?

It’s hard to see You through this pain, this grief, this wailing wall,

this interim.

This interim of time between grief and heaven.

Because we all feel it, right? At some point or another, we are in that time. That time of in-between.

Remember in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John the day after Jesus dies on the cross?

In Matthew, it just says that the priests (the same priests that yelled “CRUCIFY”) went to Pilot to have the tomb where He lay, sealed and guarded.

That’s the only account of the in-between Jesus dying for you and the resurrected Jesus to give you life more abundantly.

What did the disciples do?

Well, we know they congregated, because on the third day, resurrected Jesus was among them.

I bet they were the same as us: dazed, confused, shocked, grief-stricken, wailing, hopeless.

Remembering.

Questioning.

Still following, but maybe struggling with the follow.

Waiting.

Waiting for the in-between to be over.

One of my most favorite verses in the Bible: “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint” Isaiah 40:31.

Some versions use the word “trust” instead of “wait”.

They that trust.

They that trust in the in-between, shall renew their strength.

So, whatever you’re in-between…

Sickness.

Deployment.

Terrible twos.

Marriage woes.

Divorce.

Finances.

Grief.

Trust Him.

Wait for Him.

Hope in Him.

Sometimes it’ll be hard.

But, keep on keepin’ on.

Because you know what?

On the third day…

He rose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

25 Life Hacks for the Military Wife

1. Buy a drill: Learn how to use it.

2. Familiarize yourself with resources: both military and civilian (MyCAA, Pell Grants, WIC, AER, counseling services, Child and Youth Services, etc). P.S. There should be NO SHAME in taking advantage of assistance if you need it—your husband works for the government, so if anyone deserves it—your family does!

3. Meal plan. Endless resources can be found for this on Pinterest. Ramen noodles are NOT a meal plan…like, EVER.

4. Date Night. Prioritize this with your man. Husband gone? Do yourself a favor and date night with some other wives whose husbands are also gone. It does your soul some good to get out of the house and have adult conversation.

5. Budget. Teach yourself how to make one and discipline yourself to stick to it.

6. Contingency plans…because you never know when you may have an emergency, so make some plans in the event that you do. These include (but are not limited to) babysitting, pet sitting, house sitting, what to do if your car breaks down, sink stopped up, etc.

7. Learn to change a tire.

8. Boundaries. Get some if you don’t have them already…and that goes for family too! You don’t need everyone up in ya b’ness.

9. The commissary/PX/where your husband works is never a good place to wear pajama pants. Actually NO WHERE in public is a good place to wear those. Get you some jeans—put them on!

10. GPS—will be your best friend! Familiarize yourself with your surroundings: go explore your town. Learn short-cuts. Recognize that everything looks the same on post, so work that GPS—work it real good;)

11. See someone with nice hair? Ask her who her stylist is. You NEED to know this. Ombre is pretty, black roots are not.

12. Tricare. Did you know you don’t HAVE TO BE SEEN ON POST (even if you live on post)? Did you also know that not all ailments (despite popular military physicians beliefs) can be cured with motrin and hydration and that feelings can be expressed without a diagnosis of depression? Learn it. Make it work for you and yours.

13. Yellow ribbons? Take them down. This isn’t 1940. People don’t need to know half your heart is in Iraq. People are crazy. (This goes for your cute bumper stickers, as well).

14. It probably wouldn’t hurt to learn some basic self-defense—just sayin’.

15. The weed whacker doesn’t work itself…neither does the lawn mower (or, budget pending, you could just pay for that service).

16. Hydrate! I know I just said that that wasn’t a cure for everything, but this military life will lend you a lot of sweat and tears…so, drink up! FYI, the sweat and tears are totally worth it:)

17. Unless otherwise decided upon, major purchases while your husband is deployed are rarely a good thing. Save. Save. Save. Wait. Wait. Wait.

18. Participate in FRG, but if you CHOOSE TO NOT participate, don’t run your mouth about it.

19. “Daddy’s gone” is not an excuse for bad behavior from your child. You’re going to be a single parent—like, a lot—so learn to deal with issues together and separately. Will emotions run high? Yes. Are there going to be times where your child/children is off the chain? Yes. Learn and teach some coping skills and you’ll get through it—or sit in the middle of the floor and cry (whatever works). If your emotions are out of control, chances are your child’s will be too.

20. Basic sewing skills could save you a ton of money. Patches come loose, so does velcro.

21. Your husband’s rank is his—not yours. PERIOD.

22. Patience is a virtue and you might as well accept needing it because “hurry up and wait” will be your life’s motto until your husband retires. So, I will tell you like I tell my kids (and myself, sometimes): Find your patience. Is it in your pocket? Get it back out and put it on.

23. Network. Strike up a conversation. Make some friends. Don’t trudge through this alone.

24. Invest in yourself. Take a class, decorate a cake, run, paint, journal, do something.

25. Pray.